Stake leaders and their spouses answers questions from the youth.
As with any habit that we want to implant in our daily routines, it is best to be proactive to increase the chance of consistency. A desire is the start, and a plan will most likely make it happen. You can set alarms and reminders for anything that you want to remember. Place a reminder near your bed. The more experience you have with meaningful prayer, the more opportunities you have to gain a testimony of prayer as you see the benefits and blessings of consistent communication with our Father. Whenever you pray, even in your heart during the day, you are overcoming the adversary. As the prophet Nephi taught in the Book of Mormon,
“...for if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.” (2 Nephi 32:8)
Additionally, understanding what prayer is and gaining a testimony of prayer can help increase consistency. This bible dictionary’s definition of prayer can change your understanding of prayer:
“As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part. … Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.”
First of all, it’s absolutely wonderful that you have a testimony that you want to share with others. You want others to know the joy that the gospel has given you. You want to invite others to come unto Christ and experience the blessings of making and keeping sacred covenants that lead to exaltation. You want others to feel our Heavenly Father and Savior’s love. If people won’t change their opinions about our religion and our beliefs even after we share our testimony, that is their choice. Everyone has the gift of agency. The Holy Spirit converts, not us. The Lord knows the best timing for the Spirit to touch people’s hearts but He also has to deal with people who have their free agency. We are just asked to love, share, and invite. There will be times in your life where you may not be able to verbally share your testimony but don’t underestimate the power of teaching through example. Live your life to be a reflection of Christ’s love and His teachings.
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matthew 4:44)
The Son of God was even rejected and crucified by antagonists. People have agency and the adversary has blinded people to the point of being “past feeling” (1 Nephi 17:45). There are also many scriptural examples of people changing their false beliefs when a strong testimony and gospel truths are shared with them. As we strive to increase our testimony and knowledge of the gospel, those who are open to the gospel message cannot help but feel the strength of your convictions and testimony. The church’s website has great information to help us in answering difficult questions:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics?lang=eng).
If we prepare ourselves now to study and practice discussing these types of topics, we can be ready when opportunities arise to share gospel truths.
When I was a teen, I perceived sharing the gospel as something scary and invasive. Little did I know that my neighbor friend wanted to attend our church and jumped at my invitation for her to come to seminary (my mother was the seminary teacher) my friend loved every doctrine and was baptized not long after attending seminary for the first time. The Book of Mormon was key to her conversion and I realized how easy it was to give a copy of the Book of Mormon to my friend. (D&C 123:12-13) I learned from this experience that even though my testimony was not strong I knew enough to answer my friend’s basic questions and that fellow members and missionaries were all too willing to help be her friend and to help guide her along her spiritual journey. The Book of Mormon is the word of God and is an anchor for our lives and can help us receive answer to our prayers and draw us closer to Jesus Christ.
While serving my mission, we were encouraged to try a tracting door approach at least once during our mission that went something like, “Hello, we are missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We have come to share a message of the restored Church of Jesus Christ and to invite you to be baptized. May we come in?” This was essentially a baptismal commitment right at the start. Baptismal invitations were hard to give when we were teaching our friends who were interested. My companion and I took the challenge one day and were prepared for all sorts of negative reactions. However, the opposite was true. We were surprised at how casually people reacted to this bold invitation. As a matter of fact, the boldness led to far more teaching opportunities than ever before. I became bolder after that. I also love the church culture in Texas. It is common for Christians to ask new acquaintances if they have a church family (a church that they attend) especially if they meet people who are new to the area. Even if people are not interested, they always seem to appreciate your offer to share what you find important in your life.
President Nelson has taught that “power” comes to us when we seek after Jesus Christ, repent daily, and keep our baptismal and temple covenants. This “power” is the power to overcome temptation, endure difficult trials such as being sick or disappointed. This is really the strength that comes when you are confident in your relationship with God and the Savior Jesus Christ.
Bro. Mark Lynn, Austin Texas West Stake Young Men President, shares a wonderful example of receiving power to overcome trials and adversity:
"About 30 years ago my wife and I were returning from the temple one Saturday and discussing our temple experience. We were both seeking guidance for specific things, and we had an overwhelming feeling that something big was going to happen in our lives. Whatever it was to be, we were at peace and knew God was guiding our lives. Two days later, my wife suffered a massive brain stem stroke that left her without the ability to move most of her body and speak to this day. We had 3 small children at the time and our lives were forever changed. The gospel provides an eternal perspective that can bring peace and guidance when we hurt or are scared. I can think of nothing better to precede such a difficult trial than literal powerful, revelatory promptings from our Father in Heaven that we would be okay. Where would we have been if we did not have our gospel background or did not find ourselves in holy places where we’re ready to be receptive to promptings? We had numerous other tender mercies and small blessings as we navigated life in this new circumstance. We had a couple of significant miracles as well. The knowledge of the plan of happiness, blessings from following the guidance/commandments of God, and the daily companionship of the Holy Ghost gives us power to endure and overcome all the difficult things that came with this huge change in our lives.”
As a young person, your life experience has been short and you have hopefully been free of significant trials that often make you lean heavily on the Lord. We will all eventually find a need for the Savior at numerous times in our lives. Many discover the healing power of the Atonement that will not only cleanse us from sin, but brings healing and comfort from a loving Savior who suffered everything that anyone will ever suffer. He is someone we can always turn to who understands exactly how we feel.
The time to receive your patriarchal blessing is really up to you. In addition to declaring which house of Israel you belong to, a patriarchal blessing contains personal counsel from the Lord to you. Some feel they are spiritually and emotionally ready for this when they are teenagers, especially as youth are trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. But some wait longer and there are adults who have not received theirs yet. Whenever you do decide to receive it though, your blessing can become an incredible guide for you throughout your life. Like the scriptures, as you study and read it regularly throughout your life, you can glean new meaning and insight from it. It could bring great comfort, peace, and reassurance, or it can help you understand the potential the Lord sees in you and how much He loves you. When you do receive it, treasure it as your own personal “Liahona” to guide you through life (1 Nephi 16).
Here are a couple additional resources to help you learn more about what a patriarchal blessing is and answer some commonly asked questions about it.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/44yamashita?lang=eng
This is a great question to bring to the Lord after you have researched all of your options (“study it out in your mind”; Doctrine & Covenants 9:8). You may feel that there is no definitive answer. This could possibly be the Lord’s way of telling you that either decision is good. Many times there is not just one good choice. Other times, very specific revelation is received by you, your family or your Bishop that provides more guidance. If we are receptive to revelatory answers, the Lord will let us know when He has specific directions for you. Sometimes the added time after high school helps to better solidify desired behaviors that the prospective missionary is working towards. If there has been a history of anxiety, for example, successfully living away from home for a year can be a good indicator that you have developed the emotional resiliency to serve away from home for 18-24 months. Some may require added time to improve their health, endurance, or heal from an injury. Others may need the time to mature socially or work to raise needed funds to serve. Waiting too long can sometimes make it more difficult to decide to serve. All young men have been called to serve if they are worthy and able to do so. Young women have the option to serve. Both young men and women should prepare now to serve and when the opportunity arises, they will be ready to follow the promptings as they are received.
The message might change from person to person but it would always focus on the light of The Savior Jesus Christ, and how focusing on Jesus Christ brings happiness and joy. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is for everyone and the teachings of the restored gospel help us to better understand how to benefit from the Atonement of Christ. Regardless of their response, the message is always a great one to share. Many times, the simplest message is the best message!
We will all have experiences with friends outside of Church who are not embracing Gospel values. If you’re feeling pressured into something you know is wrong; speak up and walk away. You will probably find that you are not alone–and you will end up helping someone else who didn’t have the courage to do it themselves.
Over time, you will be able to see that it is far easier to say “no” and walk away than participate in bad things and then have to carry that burden, or talk to the Bishop or your parents!
President Nelson has asked us to “know who we are”. He invites us to know that we are:
A child of God,
A child of the covenant, and
A disciple of Jesus Christ.
He encourages us to review these daily. When we know who we are, it is easier to decide the harder right over the easier wrong. That being said, it also helps to be proactive. Establish rules and boundaries now for how you might address various forms of peer pressure or temptations. Role play how you might respond to situations where you are pressured to go against your values. These can be great topics for family home evening or quorum or class discussions.
Start small. Think LOVE, SHARE and INVITE! By loving your friends, sharing your life with others, and inviting others to do good things, you build love and trust in your relationship. At the right time, you will be inspired to share something small that you believe or that you are so grateful for in your life.
You don’t have to dive right into deep doctrine. There are many normal and natural ways to talk about our church and beliefs when a topic arises or even when friends ask what you did over the weekend. Tell your friends what you did at Church, during youth activities or a service project. Here’s a great video that gives some ideas on how to talk about church without requiring a lot of courage or in ways that feel awkward.
Loving, sharing and inviting in small ways is usually the best way to develop confidence and courage over time. Usually, the first few times may feel a bit awkward. It is better to practice when you are in your youth. On your own, with parents and leaders, study and pray about any gospel topics that you are unfamiliar with. Over time, you will increase knowledge and testimony and be better prepared to share doctrine and beliefs when asked by friends.
Elder David A.Bednar, an Apostle, teaches that if we live the gospel, keep the commandments and take advantage of repentance on a daily basis, then we don’t need to worry about if it’s from the Lord or our own thoughts. The Lord WILL guide your thoughts through the Holy Ghost throughout your day and in any time where you need to make decisions. Please watch this video, as Elder Bednar explains this important concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb9LUWW2QIE
When you have obvious thoughts to do something contrary to the commandments, then you know it is from Satan, the adversary. Otherwise, trust your thoughts and decide now to follow every prompting to do something that is good. You will find that the more you follow these thoughts and promptings, you will discover that there was undeniable guidance coming from the Holy Ghost. Most of the time, following promptings may not have a miraculous story. Over time, you will be better aware of very direct promptings and see amazing miracles that happen through the Holy Ghost.
The Lord loves you. You cannot and should not take this burden on by yourself. The Atonement of Christ can heal you. Heavenly Father has designed us to be attracted to others in order to help fulfill His plan of happiness that requires us to form families and lasting relationships so we can be sealed to our families for eternity. To accomplish this divine purpose, physical attraction needs to be “strong and somewhat constant”. These are powerful feelings, but a loving Heavenly Father provided guidelines and warnings to help us navigate strong urges and temptations from a jealous adversary who tries to make holy things become unholy. The For Strength of Youth pamphlet has simple, yet profound, direction that most do not fully appreciate until they are much older and wiser. The fact that you feel strong attractions is a good thing. It will one day lead you to marriage and family. Do not underestimate the counsel of our prophet and apostles regarding appropriate dating behaviors and developing many friendships with members of the opposite sex.
Pornography is sexually explicit pictures, videos and even books or magazine articles. Because of the prevalence, the easy way you obtain it, and frequency of exposure to it, many adults, youth and children have struggled with viewing this casually or even as a strong habit that’s hard to break. Secrecy and shame often accompany pornography use, which is a tactic of Satan to fuel addiction. Too many people feel they are alone with this struggle. Because of this, they are afraid to seek help and may feel like an outcast. The reality is that many have struggled and there are many who are waiting to help you overcome this burden.
Addictive, or compulsive behaviors can be difficult to address on your own. There are many resources that you can access. Parents and Bishops are great people to help guide you to the resources that you need. Most people make the mistake of trying to change this behavior by doing the least amount of effort with the hopes of the greatest amount of benefit. Just like learning a sport or musical instrument, the more effort we put in the greater the results. The other false belief is that abstinence results from exposing yourself to the same patterns and expecting to gain some superpower that will somehow help you overcome in those very tempting situations. Real, lasting change comes from being proactive (preventing and changing situations that can lead to relapse) and is always better than relying on willpower alone. Significant support and change occurs when we connect with others and have frequent contact and accountability from those who have learned to overcome. If we draw our line in the sand so very far from the edge of the cliff, even if we occasionally put a foot across the line, we will never fall over the edge. It is when our line is drawn at the edge of the cliff that we will always plummet. Increasing self-awareness, addressing core concerns, and benefiting from the protecting powers of obedience to the gospel are some of the steps needed to bring about lasting change. Many new behaviors and habits will need to be made. Most of these are most likely habits that we should have always been doing long ago that are often helpful in preventing these problems in the first place. As people utilize all of these helpful resources, they eventually notice fewer desires to view pornography and a greater capacity to connect with others. Intense spirituality and personal growth soon follow. Abhorrence of old behaviors and a lifelong desire to stick to their new way of doing things is how this short-term sobriety becomes long term sobriety.
~ President Mark Lynn, Stake Young Men’s President, and Professional Counselor on Sexual Addiction